Don’t Force Them

The question is………….Should we need to force our kids??

The answer may vary from parent to parent. Someone will say we shouldn’t force them to do anything which is not of their choice and some will agree to force them for their good. But in most of the cases, we have seen that generally parents, especially mothers, always force their kids to eat different types of food, as it’s good for their health, or ask them to spend less time with the person whom they don’t like and father force their kids to study a particular subject and focus more on studies rather than spending time in games and other activities.

What is needed here is that as a parent we should try to understand our kids i.e. what they want, what are their choices, how they feel when we force them. Are our forcing leading them to feel irritated in life with us??

When we try to do a self-evaluation we will find that the answer will be a ‘yes’ in most cases, whenever we try to force them to eat or to study but they are in a mood to play or to do anything else. We should sometime listen to them, after all, they are kids otherwise we can keep some condition like if you have your food on time I will give you extra time to play or I will make your favourite dish on the coming Sunday. I think many of us do the latter one to make sure that our kids do what we wish.

The need is to tackle them very carefully so that they by themselves get ready to do the things which we wanted them to do.
In my perception, I feel by forcefully we can ask them to do the things for some time but that is not going to do any good as once they see that we are not looking at them they will do what they want instead of the things that we have asked them to do.

For that, we have to teach them how to be discipline and a responsible person. A discipline chart to be maintained for food timing, for food dishes and for study time also. I know we can’t handle everything but we can’t force also them every time, so we need to set up some time for a few things.

Remember forcing can lead them to get irritated or they can become stubborn. So it’s important that we should give them the time and space that they need. For example, let Sunday be there day. Let them do whatever they want to do like playing or indulging in their favorite hobby and let them eat whatever they want to eat. Let them give a place where they can feel free and good from the heart.

Let me also know your views what do you feel?
How you tackle your kids?
Do you force them to study or eat any particular food ?

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16 thoughts on “Don’t Force Them”

  1. I guess the answer to this will change depending on their age. For my 4 year old, explaining the reason often works. This strategy may not work as well as he grows older!

  2. Force is something very negative for a child or for anybody. A child is also an individual and they have their own mindsets..reasoning does help to get them do things.

  3. Personally I think there is thin line between forcing and positively inspiring kids to do right things. sometimes kids need push to do right things, and I do that with my girls.

    1. Yeah, I too agree kids need to push but in a positive way which lets them do the things by heartfully and not by forcefully. The choice should be of them only. That’s my view as a parent :-))

  4. As parenting, this is also a very delicate issue. Forcing is not right but they need to be explained with logic. In our case, Saturday is a fun day where we do whatever she wants and she gets to choose her food too. other days she is given a choice but no junk food. But there are times where you need reason and then force them to do things else they think what they want is what will be done always.

    1. Yes, dear, that’s why I mentioned that we need to tackle them in a way that they by themselves choose to do the things and we don’t need to force them 🙂
      It’s just the way is different

  5. I agree with you Priyal Pushing never works, Parents need to work on pushing tactics smartly as per my view. putting the same point differently in front of kids definitely works.

  6. Maine apne baccho ko kabhi bhi kisi kaam k liye force nahi kiya, waise bhi acchi guidance me thy hi, aaj unki successful life dekh kar khushi hoti hai

  7. Today, I am in a real fowl mood. Had a meltdown on my younger kid. In retrospection I realise that until the kids is seven years old, he/she really does not understand the implication of a lot of things. To expect too much from them is actually our folly. Once they are old enough, they understand logic and can make informed choices. So yes, not point forcing anything upon them

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