A child is a fountain of endless joy and happiness for its parents. Watching your child grow from a toddler to an adult brings immense happiness to parents. And more than that, watching them grow into sorted and responsible adults is a matter of pride for every parent. But along with this joy, parenting a teenager also brings with it a lot of stress, anxiety and sleepless nights. While your teenager might have become talker than you, but remember that their brain is still actively developing, and the way they process information is very different from adults.
Hence their ability to manage emotions, make decisions, reason, and control inhibitions varies from individual to individual. Also hormonal changes in a teenager bring about physical, emotional, and psychological changes in them. Since every child is different and unique, there are some who manage to pass through their adolescent years smoothly, while there are some who become excessively rebellious making it extremely difficult for their parents to tame them. Being a parent to a teenager is never easy.
Parenting a teenager is like constantly walking on eggshells. You never know what words or action of yours might trigger off your teenage child. As a parent to a teeanger I am constantly trying old and new ways to deal with my child and come to a middle ground with them. In this article
I am going to share my views and suggestions on how to deal with difficult teenagers.
1) COMMUNICATE :
During teenage years, kids tend to spend less time with their family and more time with their friends and peers. Parents should make it a habit to spend quality time with their kids. Talk to them everyday. Ask questions on all that they do in a day. Enquire about the kind of company they are keeping. Encourage healthy conversations to convey that they can trust you enough to tell you what is happening in their life.
2) BE A GOOD LISTENER :
Since teenagers are reluctant to open up with their parents on what is happening in their life, they will never tell if they are stressed out. They would rather deal with their problems themselves than reach out for help. As a parent, we should listen to them patiently and not lecture them. Constant lecturing will only make them want to avoid our company.
3) UNFLINCHING SUPPORT :
This is the time when teenagers are heavily influenced by their friends and tend to get into bad company or develop bad addictions like smoking, alcohol, porn, drugs etc. This can sometimes land them in trouble causing stress to them. It is at this time that they need the unflinching support of their parents. That reassurance that no matter what happens, parents have their back. That comforting feeling that no matter in how big a mess I am in, their parents would help them come out of the mess.
4) STOP CONTROLLING :
This is the time when your child is learning to become more independent. Trying to develop their personality and create their own identity. In the process kids are quick to make their own decisions without asking for advice from elders. And since we parents feel that we are unable to control their actions we begin to label our child as a difficult teenager. On the contrary we should just give up on the idea of controlling our children. Instead we should try to influence them positively by talking to them, guiding them, showing them what is right and what is wrong and then just trusting them to make the right decisions for themselves.
5) UNDERSTAND :
With hormonal changes bringing in mood fluctuations, the most appropriate thing that parents can do is to understand their point of view. Understand that mood swings, risky behaviour, inconsistent habits, relationship turmoil, and academic fluctuations are all part n parcel of adolescents.
Apart from these suggestions here are a few things that parents should never indulge in, while dealing with difficult teenagers. Never compare your child with another.
Don’t keep bringing up the past mistakes of your child every time they do something wrong. Deliberately or accidentally never instil negativity in your child. Do not humiliate your child in front of a third person even if that third person is a family member. Keeping very high and unrealistic expectations from your child.
No matter how many people give you suggestions on how to deal with your teenager child, the truth is only a parent knows their child’s mind and has to do what is best for their child by dealing with them lovingly and patiently. The best possible thing a parent can do is to be a role model for their child and inculcate the same routine, habits, values and morals that they would want their child to nurture.