“There is no friendship, no love, like that of the parent for the child.”
Being a mother I am always worried about my kids future and especially about the way I am taking care of them i.e. whether I am giving the right nurturing to them or not? This worry tends to increase a little, when my daughter is about to enter in her teenager’s phase. I am little worried that how I will be able to take care of everything as this is the age when we have to deal with kids very carefully by giving our attention, care and love and most importantly put some rules in their life but in a smart way so that they don’t get frustrated and irritated with us.
I have made note of some points in my mind so that I can take care of everything nicely and can become a good friend of her, so that she can start sharing her daily routine or her wishes with me without the scariness of getting scolded by me.
As someone has rightly said that when you child is in his teenage, then “Treat the child as though he already is the person he’s capable of becoming.”
Here I am sharing some points with you all, if I am wrong anywhere please do correct me and let me know in what better way I can take care of her, so that she always feel comfortable with me.
1) Always ensure to treat them like a teen, neither like a child nor like a adult. Don’t expect much work from her, as they are in an age where mistake can be done by her. Stay calm and handle the situation with ease and don’t get disappointed as in this age they are learning through failure and mistakes.
2) Allow more freedom if they are doing their work with more responsibilities, but if they are making bad choices then be more restrictive and try to guide them on the right path in a friendly way.
3) Trust them, appreciate them, instead of focusing your attention on the bad things done by them. It’s the age when they can get into a lot of trouble, so build the trust together and always try to help them.
4)Dont get angry if you are upset on something wrong done by them , try to be calm that time , take a moment and gather yourself. It’s good to calm down your mind first then talk to her, because at this age teens can’t tolerate any eagerness or shout on them
5) we should set some boundaries around them so that they know what time they need to come and what’s their role in the home. If they can’t complete they chores in time or always give excuses then don’t allow them to do other activities as well. Ask them to finish it first then only let them what they want to do.
6) Never give an excuse and be available for your kids as this is the time when they need more attention and less talk from parent’s side. So always pay attention to what they say to you.
7) It’s good if you spend some time together with them by going out for an outing or to watch a movie or whatever they like so that they can feel free with you.
8) It’s necessary that you don’t try to be quite strict on them, it’s the age when they don’t like you to be strict with them, try to understand their situation and then put some rules
9) The most important is to be their friend, ask them how the day was, when they come back to home, don’t overreact on anything if they did anything wrong otherwise in future they will not share with you , so handle the things smartly and guide them thoroughly, so that they will be more careful in future.
10) Always support them in their interest, what other activities they like to do, appreciate them for it ,so that they can participate in with full swings.
11) Respect them because this is what they expect in this age and don’t try to scold them in front of others, as that may leave a negative impact on their heart, that my parents don’t love me and all. This is the age when we have to be very delicate with them and handle every situation carefully.
12) Welcome their friends at home whenever they want or whenever it is possible
13) If you expect them to be trustworthy, responsible, honest and good-hearted then we must give them the requisite environment. We must value all these things in our life.
14) Be the real you with them, if you have done a mistake, admit it in front of them and tell them that you are also a learner, we all learn something throughout in our life
15) This should be there in your life “Available for them ‘ , as they come first in our life. Being a parent our children are our first priority, all other things take a second seat.
These are the few things which I have experienced to be applied in my life to take care of my daughter who is going to be 13 years old soon, by implementing some rules in her life and by spending much time with her, so that she can get a friend at home too, in her mom.
It’s not easy to be a parent, but I accept this challenge to make my kids my best friend for lifetime, as my first best friends are my parents only, I still share all the talks with them.
Friends being a mother I always love to share my experience with you , but would like to know your experience too. Please do share your love by commenting here 🙂